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Post by mtnme on Mar 1, 2008 15:51:49 GMT -5
Given what this guy's 'packin', he is either very brave or very trusting, otherwise life could get very painful, very quickly- LOL!. Wait until the end of the video to see why.... click on the video to play.  |
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Post by Lori GND on Mar 1, 2008 16:18:49 GMT -5
 Loved it! The expressions on the womens' faces were priceless - especially the one whose eyes got big, then her stylist snapped her head back straight...
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Post by Lori on Mar 20, 2008 22:57:16 GMT -5
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Post by wags on Mar 21, 2008 19:12:47 GMT -5
That was crazy. I loved it! It would have totally freaked me out.
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Post by sk8on on May 18, 2008 13:22:45 GMT -5
NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...
These are real notes written by parents in an Alabama school district.
Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
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Post by mtnme on May 18, 2008 13:39:06 GMT -5
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Post by Lori on Jun 21, 2008 13:31:11 GMT -5
Some of the vocal artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers.
They include:
1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.
2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.
3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.
4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.
5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.
6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.
7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver.
8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.
9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.
10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.
11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.
12. James Brown--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.
13. Abba--- Denture Queen.
14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.
15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.
16. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again
17. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To
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Post by tabatha on Jun 21, 2008 15:53:47 GMT -5
my favorite one is number 16...on the commode again. that's pretty funny.
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Post by wags on Jun 21, 2008 20:22:47 GMT -5
OMG!!! This would be hilarious if it wasn't so true! I can't wait to send this to my sister.
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Post by mtnme on Jul 9, 2008 1:24:34 GMT -5
The Australian Work Force today. (sent to me by an Aussie...) LOL  It seems to me Cal Trans looks pretty much the same way, even half a world away!  |
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Post by linmiste on Jul 9, 2008 10:07:36 GMT -5
Lori, that song rewrite was hilarious. I sent it to my mom.  sk8on, I loved the school excuse notes -- esp. since I just signed a contract to teach middle school next year. I know -- must be something wrong with me. It's a private school, though, so I'm hoping it will be a tad easier. diarrhea (that is hard to spell!). In bed with gramps. Hurt in the growing part. bothered by very close veins. Too funny!  Mntme, loved the work force photo. It's like this all over the world, it seems! |
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Post by number1fan on Jul 9, 2008 10:46:16 GMT -5
mtnme...the only difference with our caltrans workers is that they're wearing orange vests and look like ex-cons
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Post by mtnme on Aug 15, 2008 21:09:34 GMT -5
Yet another one from my Aussie friend... ============================================= Subject: AUSSIE "barbie" GAME First one out loses !!!!! Trust Aussies to think this one up!!! mtnme: - of course - (and this surprises no one ) - 'beer' was involved!   |
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Post by mtnme on Oct 3, 2008 11:06:12 GMT -5
The Treasury Department has just issued a new dollar bill to reflect the state of the economy...
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Post by Lori on Oct 4, 2008 14:06:41 GMT -5
Sarcastic Police Comments
1) You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’
2) ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They stretch after awhile.’
3) ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’
4) ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
5) ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
6) ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’
7) ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?’
8) ‘Warning? You want a warning? OK., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.’
9) ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’
10) ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’
11) ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven .’
12) ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’
13) ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’
14) ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’
15) ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
16) ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.’
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~Lori
