Deep Thoughts about Apolo

[Snug]

Driven by the deeeeeeep comments in the Bad Metaphor thread, this topic is for Deep Thoughts inspired by Apolo. (It is a humor thread, so if you take offense to anything said here, you're too darned sensitive. )



Skating in small circles at 30 miles an hour on a crowded track is not a very safe or rational act. But without it, there would be no short track speedskating, and we'd never have heard of Apolo Ohno. He'd probably have ended up as a car salesman or something.

Apolo is very lucky to have people all over the internet who can intuit his wants, needs, and desires regarding Julianne Hough just by tuning in with their tinfoil hats. The rest of us can't even telepathically communicate to our significant other that it's time to take the garbage out.

I sat down to write a song about Apolo, but then my loins started throbbing, and I realized I was out of AA batteries, so I went to the store to get some, and by the time I got home, the inspiration was lost. Such is the lot of Apolo fans that buy generic batteries.

Some people say Apolo is too short. I say, too short for what? Too short to fetch that can of Chunky Sirloin Burger soup off the top shelf of the pantry? That's what god made step-stools for.

Whoever Apolo ends up with is going to be one lucky woman. I mean, how cool would it be to get free haircuts by Yuki for life?

I've heard that Apolo loves pizza, and that he will forego the delectable pies for extended periods of time while he is in training. This makes sense, considering there is no good pizza in Utah, Colorado Springs, or any other place a speed-skater might hang his hat while honing his craft.



Feel free to add your own Deep Thoughts about Apolo.

[tynormem]

I am not, and could never be as witty as you, but I am dying about the tinfoil hats and good pizza deeeep thoughts.

I hope there are more deeeeeep thoughts to come!

[Snug]

I'll come up with a few more after I've had my coffee.

Somebody must not like my deeeeep thoughts and bad metaphors, though. My karma went down.

[Snug]

I would imagine that, like many elite athletes, Apolo has problems with the skin on his feet. The constant battle against sweat and bacteria and fungus can lead to dryness and even cracking. So I propose that he allow his dedicated fans to regularly moisturize his heels and balls.

[Lindsey]

That was deep, Snug--UM!! Heels and Balls!? Oh, the irony of it all....

[juliebug]

snug said:

I would imagine that, like many elite athletes, Apolo has problems with the skin on his feet. The constant battle against sweat and bacteria and fungus can lead to dryness and even cracking. So I propose that he allow his dedicated fans to regularly moisturize his heels and balls.

OMG! I can't believe you said that! It's a good thing for you that I was only drinking water when I read that.

[lisam]

snug said:

I would imagine that, like many elite athletes, Apolo has problems with the skin on his feet. The constant battle against sweat and bacteria and fungus can lead to dryness and even cracking. So I propose that he allow his dedicated fans to regularly moisturize his heels and balls.

snug, you're really good at these deep thoughts, I can't think of any right now, probably never will cuz I'm not good at thinking up stuff like that. I'll just enjoy everyone elses deep thoughts.

[Elle]

These thoughts could not be deep enough but, where's Apolo when I need him? i wonder if he, Apolo, ever thinks about the impact or changes he makes in general? To me, Apolo is a sexy and motivating distraction from the real world. I am very infantile. I still dream of a white Christmas and of fairy tales and the whole rubbish. Today is one of those mornings in which I need this sort of distraction.
I believe that sometimes we all need escape from this nothingness. I think we all need a change from this monotonous life in which we all fight to survive.
Like others, Apolo is a window to the outside world of fantasy and dreams. I'd like to think that I, like Apolo, I'm living in a dream in which I am successful in the things I strive to accomplish. I know that it is not impossible but, today is one of those days in which a regular brusky doesn't cut it.
I love seeing Apolo in all his glory gliding through the ice in his blue tights. Having his hair being blown by the breeze created by the momentum is refreshing. This Apolo image transforms me immediately to another place and a distant world. It is not the same sort of inspiration that others acquire. To me, it is like wanting to be some one else in another place and a different time.
I am not sad. I am just dreaming of some thing different. I am wondering wot it would be like being some one else with a different shell and other demons. Wot would it be like being Apolo's hands? Those babies go EVERYWHERE he desires. And I mean EVERYWHERE! For example, Apolo runs his fingers through his hair. WOW!!!! I just had a Keanu Reeves moment of wonder.
Very long post but, It helps me focus on his cuteness and not the shallow place in which my mind is this gloomy London morning.

[Bella]

Wow, elle, that was very poetic and, um, deep.

I was thinkin' some deep thoughts, too, but more like the kind Snug came up with earlier (fully intended as humor)...

Ever notice Apolo's apparent fixation with water?

That's right. FIXATION.

Think about it....

1) He skates on the ice (frozen water).
2) Before that, he was a swimmer (in the pool filled with water).
3) He grew up in Seattle, one of the wettest cities in the nation (rain is comprised of... you guessed it, water).
4) In fact, he finds rain very agreeable and romantic as I recall from a former quote (romantic=rain=water).
5 & 6) When he went on a vacation, he went to an island (surrounded by water) and went surfing in the ocean (the largest body of water there is).
7) On another vacation to Japan, one of his favorite experiences was the natural hot springs (ancient, steamy water).
8 & 9) When he's not on vacation, he's workin' up a sweat (sweat = water + salt), which makes you thirsty (for water).
10) And after he's done sweatin', he's got to shower (under running water).
11) And when he wants to get really relaxed, what does he do? He soaks in a bathtub (full of water - & hopefully bubbles).

Not sure what one does to "fix" a water fixation. Perhaps in Apolo's case, it serves the greater good *pictures how good it makes us all feel to envision him relaxing in the bathtub, hopefully with bubbles*. Common sense dictates that the best sort of cure for water and wetness is air, so being that he's a Gemini, which is, ironically, an air sign, perhaps he should consult an astrologer or at the very least read and follow his daily horoscope.

[mtnme]

elle said:

These thoughts could not be deep enough but, where's Apolo when I need him? i wonder if he, Apolo, ever thinks about the impact or changes he makes in general? To me, Apolo is a sexy and motivating distraction from the real world. I am very infantile. I still dream of a white Christmas and of fairy tales and the whole rubbish. Today is one of those mornings in which I need this sort of distraction.
I believe that sometimes we all need escape from this nothingness. I think we all need a change from this monotonous life in which we all fight to survive.
Like others, Apolo is a window to the outside world of fantasy and dreams. I'd like to think that I, like Apolo, I'm living in a dream in which I am successful in the things I strive to accomplish. I know that it is not impossible but, today is one of those days in which a regular brusky doesn't cut it.
I love seeing Apolo in all his glory gliding through the ice in his blue tights. Having his hair being blown by the breeze created by the momentum is refreshing. This Apolo image transforms me immediately to another place and a distant world. It is not the same sort of inspiration that others acquire. To me, it is like wanting to be some one else in another place and a different time.
I am not sad. I am just dreaming of some thing different. I am wondering wot it would be like being some one else with a different shell and other demons. Wot would it be like being Apolo's hands? Those babies go EVERYWHERE he desires. And I mean EVERYWHERE! For example, Apolo runs his fingers through his hair. WOW!!!! I just had a Keanu Reeves moment of wonder.
Very long post but, It helps me focus on his cuteness and not the shallow place in which my mind is this gloomy London morning.

Such a melancholy post. Elle, you sound like you are having one of those days (which we all hope to have oohhh so seldom) that is beyond low. There seems to be no words I can offer, but I still feel a desire to offer some sort of comfort from half a world away. We all have our dreams that often seem to take their sweet time materializing. I can't give you the fairy tale, but I can provide a white Christmas, albeit a tad early.


There is something very calming and peaceful about snow. How it muffles sound so that all you can hear is the sound of it crunching under your feet (and hopefully the beating of the desires of your own heart.) And when the sun comes out after an especially dark storm, the landscape shines as if it has been strewn with a thousand sparkling diamonds. I hope tomorrow for you will be as bright. In the meantime, it sounds like you have Apolo to keep you company.

[mtnme]

Sorry snug and everyone else, I know the thread was intended for humor, but elle sounded so low, humor didn't seem to be appropriate at the moment. - or maybe I just read it all wrong.

[Snug]

No sweat. Threads take all sorts of directions, at the will and whim of the posters, and it isn't a big deal.

[Rhiannon]

elle said:

These thoughts could not be deep enough but, where's Apolo when I need him? i wonder if he, Apolo, ever thinks about the impact or changes he makes in general? To me, Apolo is a sexy and motivating distraction from the real world. I am very infantile. I still dream of a white Christmas and of fairy tales and the whole rubbish. Today is one of those mornings in which I need this sort of distraction.
I believe that sometimes we all need escape from this nothingness. I think we all need a change from this monotonous life in which we all fight to survive.
Like others, Apolo is a window to the outside world of fantasy and dreams. I'd like to think that I, like Apolo, I'm living in a dream in which I am successful in the things I strive to accomplish. I know that it is not impossible but, today is one of those days in which a regular brusky doesn't cut it.
I love seeing Apolo in all his glory gliding through the ice in his blue tights. Having his hair being blown by the breeze created by the momentum is refreshing. This Apolo image transforms me immediately to another place and a distant world. It is not the same sort of inspiration that others acquire. To me, it is like wanting to be some one else in another place and a different time.
I am not sad. I am just dreaming of some thing different. I am wondering wot it would be like being some one else with a different shell and other demons. Wot would it be like being Apolo's hands? Those babies go EVERYWHERE he desires. And I mean EVERYWHERE! For example, Apolo runs his fingers through his hair. WOW!!!! I just had a Keanu Reeves moment of wonder.
Very long post but, It helps me focus on his cuteness and not the shallow place in which my mind is this gloomy London morning.

Elle, I think that if Apolo were to have read your post I'm sure he'd have some inspiring words for you, like ... I'm not a perfect man ... only strive for perfection and while you're wishing to be like someone else you're missing out on the most beautiful person in your life ... you.

[laura6]

elle said:

These thoughts could not be deep enough but, where's Apolo when I need him? i wonder if he, Apolo, ever thinks about the impact or changes he makes in general? To me, Apolo is a sexy and motivating distraction from the real world. I am very infantile. I still dream of a white Christmas and of fairy tales and the whole rubbish. Today is one of those mornings in which I need this sort of distraction.
I believe that sometimes we all need escape from this nothingness. I think we all need a change from this monotonous life in which we all fight to survive.
Like others, Apolo is a window to the outside world of fantasy and dreams. I'd like to think that I, like Apolo, I'm living in a dream in which I am successful in the things I strive to accomplish. I know that it is not impossible but, today is one of those days in which a regular brusky doesn't cut it.
I love seeing Apolo in all his glory gliding through the ice in his blue tights. Having his hair being blown by the breeze created by the momentum is refreshing. This Apolo image transforms me immediately to another place and a distant world. It is not the same sort of inspiration that others acquire. To me, it is like wanting to be some one else in another place and a different time.
I am not sad. I am just dreaming of some thing different. I am wondering wot it would be like being some one else with a different shell and other demons. Wot would it be like being Apolo's hands? Those babies go EVERYWHERE he desires. And I mean EVERYWHERE! For example, Apolo runs his fingers through his hair. WOW!!!! I just had a Keanu Reeves moment of wonder.
Very long post but, It helps me focus on his cuteness and not the shallow place in which my mind is this gloomy London morning.

Amazing post Elle!! I like to see you around!!! So true!!!

[Lindsey]

Beautiful thoughts, Elle--albeit on a gloomy London morning (even that sounds fantastical to me).

And, Bella--I'd never thought about the water thing before, and although it was, actually, very deep, it did strike me as funny...and *looks guilty* makes me think of a particular scene in Vegas' fanfiction...