|
|
Post by ohnoagain on Nov 12, 2007 12:27:11 GMT -5
That's hysterical!!! Love it!!!!
|
|
|
|
Post by lexi on Nov 12, 2007 12:46:43 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by ohnoagain on Nov 12, 2007 15:16:22 GMT -5
Lexi, thanks for making my day. I've heard the second one before, but it always makes me laugh, but never saw Improv show with Drew Carey before, and the Richard Simmons was classic. I laughed all the way through it. I have to save it, thanks again.
|
|
|
|
Post by lexi on Nov 12, 2007 15:32:15 GMT -5
Glad you enjoyed them, Cindy. The Richard Simmons one is a classic. I've had it in my 'vault' forever. It's always a good laugh.
The links for my other two didn't appear to be working and so I've fixed them.
|
|
|
|
Post by mtnme on Nov 12, 2007 21:14:57 GMT -5
Glad you enjoyed them, Cindy. The Richard Simmons one is a classic. I've had it in my 'vault' forever. It's always a good laugh. The links for my other two didn't appear to be working and so I've fixed them. I'm not sure what was funnier, watching Richard's antics or watching Drew completely "lose it" ! |
|
|
|
Post by butterfly on Nov 12, 2007 22:15:50 GMT -5
Oh my gosh, Lexi, those videos are absolutely hilarious! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  Anyone who's having a bad day needs to watch them. |
|
|
|
Post by lexi on Nov 13, 2007 20:19:42 GMT -5
I got this from a friend at work today. ____________________________________________________ Subject: First Date ...so funny...must read If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter...Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about 'what is taking so long' with a reply that indeed, she was 'freezing her butt off' and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be 'pants down.' And you thought your first date was embarrassing. Jay Leno's comment... 'This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.' Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next t o her on the Leno show. |
|
|
|
Post by mtnme on Nov 13, 2007 21:06:01 GMT -5
lexi, that is the funniest d**n thing I have ever read in my life!!!! or easily among the top ten! ....copy, paste, e-mail to every single soul I know!!!  |
|
|
|
Post by lisam on Nov 14, 2007 0:36:29 GMT -5
I've seen that before Lexi, hilarious! I came across a vid of some comedian jokin about commercials, if you've seen it, sorry but I think its pretty funny to watch more than once. youtube.com/watch?v=WMQt7ARAqXs |
|
|
|
Post by Lori on Nov 14, 2007 3:40:31 GMT -5
I got this from a friend at work today. Man! I had stories about some bad dates before I got married, but this story takes the cake! ____________________________________________________ Subject: First Date ...so funny...must read If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!  ...and 'thank you' to your friend (or whoever) that took the time to type this all up! EDIT: LisaM, I just watched the video you posted - too funny!
|
|
|
|
Post by Lori on Nov 14, 2007 3:45:40 GMT -5
THE DIFFERENCE IN GOVERNMENTS:
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows and give 1 of them to your neighbor.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows - you give them both to the government and the government gives you the milk.
FACISM:
you have 2 cows - you milk the cows and then give the government the milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows - the government shoots you and takes both the cows.
ANARCHY:
You have 2 cows - you shoot the government agent, then steal another cow.
CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows - you sell 1 of them and buy a bull.
|
|
|
|
Post by number1fan on Nov 15, 2007 2:43:17 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Lori on Nov 15, 2007 9:50:48 GMT -5
This is actually a song (not an E-mail) from back in the 40's, but sung more recently by Ray Stevens - there's also a version by Charlie Daniels and one by Willie Nelson.  Confusing, but funny! I'M MY OWN GRANDPA - Ray Stevens Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother. Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She's my grandmother too. If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild. For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa |
|
|
|
Post by number1fan on Nov 15, 2007 16:11:20 GMT -5
This is actually a song (not an E-mail) from back in the 40's, but sung more recently by Ray Stevens - there's also a version by Charlie Daniels and one by Willie Nelson. Confusing, but funny! |
|
|
|
Post by sk8on on Nov 15, 2007 18:49:11 GMT -5
This thread is always good for a hearty laugh
Football FINALLY makes sense.........
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. 'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.' Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?' 'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!
|
|
~Lori
