Just got back from a cross country road trip that inspired the following. And hey, if any ST or LT skaters ever peruse this, I mean, really, really WOW! Thanks for making my day just by doing what you do. And, also, to that reporter back a few ages ago; I would never refer to any of those skater's backsides as "elephant asses," What the heck were you thinking???
The candidates prepare insults and lies
That the other ignores or denies.
The economy's in a rut
While they're talking smut
And insinutating unsavory ties.
Th news pundits over-analyze.
The Fed with our money buys
Failed companies and banks
Which I say really wanks.
To me it's not fair and not wise.
I'm tired of all this bad news.
It"s a downer and gives me the blues.
I've had it with those guys.
The October surprise
That I want, and I planned and I choose...
Is a great big, first hand ST fix.
Right up close it's much better than pics.
In the flesh (so to speak),
I went just this week.
Saw the team and that LT Hedricks.
I was really just passing thru
SL CIty with nothing to do
Except visit some friends.
While they tied up loose ends
Why not drive down to Kearns for a few?
The first time I tried was a bust -
No skaters were there and I cussed.
It was such a let down
And I had to leave town.
I missed LT time trials, only just.
But I thought that on my way back,
I might try one more time for short track
And I'm so pleased to say
Perseverence does pay.
I caught practice - I ain't talkin' smack.
The Oval is really a treat.
Wish I had one just down from my street.
And the people were nice,
On or off of the ice
You just never know whom you will meet.
Like that girl at the snack bar and desk
Who was kind though I know I'm a pest.
Helped me find a good seat,
Made my kids food to eat,
Let me babble a way. She's the best!
And the skaters themselves - HOLY COW!
They are fabulous, amazing and WOW!
From 9 to 11,
Two hours of Zen,
I watched mesmerized and speechless till now.
But there's something that I must confess.
I found it quite hard to guess
With helmets on head
All in blue, but one red,
Who was who (and I couldn't care less).
Because when I was watching the team
As they floated by me like a dream,
All that I could see
And that mattered to me
Was that they could fly (so it seemed).
So I'm sorry, no detatils you'll see
Of the skaters in-di-vid-u-a-lly.
I never once spoke
To that Apolo bloke
Even when he was 3 feet from me.
I hope no one thinks this was rude
Or (yeah right) that I'm too much a prude
To chat for a bit
Once practice was quit
But the truth was I couldn't intrude.
And to Ruff - I must say "alas
"
For I saw no Canookian ass.
Russians and the Dutch
Of Aussies I saw much
But the Cheerio boys had no class.*
*That is, they had no practice scheduled on the day I was there. Dang the luck. No challenges to my control or their virtue though, aye?
MT will be so proud! 
~Lori
Not to worry, though, there's no shortage of lookers on the current team. It must be a requirement to make the team: You have to skate quickly and well, and look really, really *fine* doing it! 
