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How Sad
Sept 1, 2008 11:02:45 GMT -5
Post by jennaceeta25 on Sept 1, 2008 11:02:45 GMT -5
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How Sad
Sept 1, 2008 23:38:17 GMT -5
Post by Lori on Sept 1, 2008 23:38:17 GMT -5
I just read this thread - it brought to mind a graduation speech written by Baz Luhrmann from 1999 that I'm sure many of you have read, but it bears repeating... I hope that it makes some of you smile, and that it makes ALL of you feel better about who you are and what you can become...
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99...
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience… I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth - oh nevermind, you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked… You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future - or go ahead and worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind - the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy - sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind… The race is long - and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive; forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life… the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees - you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance - so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can… Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it - it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own...
Dance… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines - they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents - you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings - they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old - and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund - maybe you have a wealthy spouse - but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia - dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
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I'll add one comment (going on memory here) that I once heard from Dr. Laura Schlessinger: "All the psychiatrists in the world could be replaced by an understanding friend and a cup of coffee".
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 1:46:16 GMT -5
Post by tabatha on Sept 2, 2008 1:46:16 GMT -5
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance - so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can… Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it - it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own...
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
**************************************************************************
These are my favorites. Sometimes I think, people my age, and younger, are married, have children, except for a couple (and she's great) I told Number1 this, I'm afraid of being a mom, I was so miss used that I'm afraid I'd be emotionally distant. If I can't love myself, then how in the hell can anybody else? I also fear of telling my past and have someone totally balk on me. Man, can I analyze or what?
True on the sibling part. I lost my oldest one, and didn't understand her until it was too late. She had a past like mine, but it lasted longer, the sadness and harshness. She was so beautiful inside and out, and the world is not the same without her in it.
The body thing, oh I wish my legs looked better, for this or that. But deep down I want a healthy back, heart, those things. For the most part I'm happy with my body, that took a long time to get at that point.
And I don't want to let people walk on me anymore. I don't agree with you, or you me, that's fine, no need to be nasty about it. If you don't like me, that's fine. Just don't be mean spirited, be honest, and I'll respect you. Later that respect could turn into a friendship, it happens.
Why are my posts so long? I hope you all don't mind reading all of it. *embarrassed*
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 3:29:43 GMT -5
Post by mtnme on Sept 2, 2008 3:29:43 GMT -5
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance - so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can… Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it - it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own... Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Great post, Lori. One that should be printed out, left on the 'fridge, and read everyday. Good Advice no matter what one's age. ************************************************************************** Tabatha, No need to be embarrassed, and the first thing on your 'to do' list for starting to love yourself, is to stop apologizing for yourself. You have nothing to apologize for. It sounds like you haven't had the kindest of lives up to this date, and you have been made to feel that your voice is not worthy of being heard and that you don't matter: your hurts, your worries, your concerns, your opinions- and now feel that voicing them is imposing on others, as if you don't have the right. You do have the right. You aren't imposing. We're here. We're listening. We all come with baggage, for some of us it's an overnight bag, with others it could very well fill the back of an SUV. I've known many people who were the latter. Born and raised into circumstances that were appalling by any measure, the fortunate ones (or maybe just strong) managed to find the courage to move beyond it. Like you, their pasts were not of their choosing, but with all of their being, they made sure their past didn't dictate their future. No easy feat to be sure. And that is the path that is before you. While your current news has broadsided you unexpectedly, life - and God if you will, do work in mysterious ways. What seems like a blow often is the biggest blessing in disquise, and it won't be at all apparent until you've lived through it, and look back on it. Going out on your own, while scary, could be the best thing that ever happened to you. It allows you to more easily clear out all the negative people in your life, the ones that offer nothing but sucking the life out of your soul. You are fighting an uphill battle loving yourself as long as these folks are around. You've spent plenty of time taking care of others, now it's time to nurture yourself. Learn to enjoy your own company. Remember, solitude isn't the same as being lonely. Take the time to listen to your own voice rather than a cacophony of everyone else's. What do YOU want for a change. And while you're asking yourself those questions, remember we've all gone through tough times, you are not alone. Knowing that will probably not make it any easier, it just reminds you that it's universal. Life just plain sucks sometimes, for everyone... but you DO have the choice to do something about making it better. And I hope you do. In the meantime, we're here - and wishing you well.  |
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 10:19:18 GMT -5
Post by jennaceeta25 on Sept 2, 2008 10:19:18 GMT -5
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance - so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can… Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it - it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own... Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. ************************************************************************** These are my favorites. Sometimes I think, people my age, and younger, are married, have children, except for a couple (and she's great) I told Number1 this, I'm afraid of being a mom, I was so miss used that I'm afraid I'd be emotionally distant. If I can't love myself, then how in the hell can anybody else? I also fear of telling my past and have someone totally balk on me. Man, can I analyze or what? True on the sibling part. I lost my oldest one, and didn't understand her until it was too late. She had a past like mine, but it lasted longer, the sadness and harshness. She was so beautiful inside and out, and the world is not the same without her in it. The body thing, oh I wish my legs looked better, for this or that. But deep down I want a healthy back, heart, those things. For the most part I'm happy with my body, that took a long time to get at that point. And I don't want to let people walk on me anymore. I don't agree with you, or you me, that's fine, no need to be nasty about it. If you don't like me, that's fine. Just don't be mean spirited, be honest, and I'll respect you. Later that respect could turn into a friendship, it happens. Why are my posts so long? I hope you all don't mind reading all of it. *embarrassed* aww, Tab. No need to feel embarressed. Everybody voices their opinions here. I'm glad you did, cause, I told you I feel the same way. First thing to do is to love yourself. I like Mtnme's perspective! You always know what to say.  |
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 14:10:33 GMT -5
Post by avln546 on Sept 2, 2008 14:10:33 GMT -5
You're friends are the only family you get to choose! |
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 16:30:56 GMT -5
Post by tabatha on Sept 2, 2008 16:30:56 GMT -5
Thank you much mtnme. I've been ignored all this time, while trying my best to be realistic, and get frustrated when I don't get anywhere. End up taking it out on myself. Well I'm done with that. I can't keep myself closed up and hidden away. Self discovery at any age is a real b***h. Funny how I want advice (away from here) and get none, and when I don't ask for any it falls in my lap.  Just trying to like myself for who I am, and stop not liking what I'm not. Well thanks for 'listening' anyway. I needed it. Avln, thanks for the quote. It's quite fun when they choose you. Now I'm all sappy. Awe, Jenna, you're so sweet. You put up with me quite a lot. Thank you. And to everyone else for their words. It means so much when you know you're not alone. I won't have the net for a few days  cause I'm moving. They turn this phone off tomorrow, and I won't be able to start to settle in the new place until this weekend. So if you don't hear from me, that's why. I'll be busy, but I shall be back soon. I seen the place. My favorite part, the bathroom. How silly. No more walking down the hall or stairs in the middle of the night for a bathroom break. Sweet. And Bella gets to come with me. The cats will get new homes, I will see to that. I won't leave my babies with out a chance for a new home. Wish me luck on that part. I'll be back on later tonight sometime. Then I gotta start packing. Ew.  |
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 16:40:51 GMT -5
Post by number1fan on Sept 2, 2008 16:40:51 GMT -5
tabs...you'll be in my thoughts. good luck with lots of love and hugs!
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 19:15:04 GMT -5
Post by susie on Sept 2, 2008 19:15:04 GMT -5
Tabbie, good luck to you! *hugs* I don't even wan't to think about how many times in my life I've moved, LOL. I came to think of it as a time to shed the endless "stuff" that all of us tend to accumulate. And Tabbie, there will come a time in your life when you don't have to move *quite* as often. ****************************************** Wow, Lori...that Baz Luhrmann speech is amazing. I agree with almost all of it. Calcium 1,200 mg. a day, with vitamin D. Start it now, young women! If not, a stooped-over back and broken bones may lay in your future. What would you rather do in your seventies? Use a cane to hobble around, or go skiing for the day? Decide now! Sunscreen! Absolutely! Slather it on every day...I do. And I'll add one item to the list...Retin A. Start it in your twenties and you will be thanking yourself in the future. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t; maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… True, true, true. Go rent the Gwyneth Paltrow movie, "Sliding Doors".  Sometimes "winning" is losing, and vice versa. Don't get too cocky (for lack of a better word) about anything, because it could all be gone tomorrow. ********************************************* Do you all remember "Hubbell" in the movie, The Way We Were? (...for the benefit of you young'uns, Robert Redford was the Brad Pitt of his day, and then some.)    I had a "Hubbell" in college...the golden boy. All the girls on campus were mad for him. He even looked like an updated Robert Redford. He was the kind of guy that everything he touched, turned to gold. I was obsessed with him...thought I couldn't make it without him. Eventually, I had to learn to make it without him.  One thing that struck me about (my) "Hubbell" was that he had never experienced any real tragedy in his young life. Well, Hubbell eventually married. "She's a lovely girl, Hubbell."In time, his wife died of brain cancer, leaving him with a young son. Into every life...some rain must fall. There is no point in getting jealous of anyone...of envying anyone their life, because each one of us has our own unique challenges. |
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How Sad
Sept 2, 2008 22:30:53 GMT -5
Post by number1fan on Sept 2, 2008 22:30:53 GMT -5
ahhh robert redford 
that was one of my fave movies ever...funny how i was never attracted to 'perfect guys' like that in high school and college...it becomes all about them y'know.
but like susie says, life has it's many ups and downs and it's learning from those down times that shape you into a more well rounded, kinder person.
 one other piece of unwanted advice 
live in the moment...treasure your loved ones...for tomorrow is guaranteed to noone.
i love you all
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How Sad
Sept 3, 2008 0:54:35 GMT -5
Post by tabatha on Sept 3, 2008 0:54:35 GMT -5
My sister loves that movie. I loved him in Horse Whisperer. (Did I spell that right?) You reminded me that I need new sun screen, my other kind expired. And I like to at least use it on my arms. I'm Irish and I tend to burn...ouch. And my doc wants me to take more Calcium. With my back issues I need too. I will look for that movie later on Susie. Thanks for the tip. I liked her in the movie Bounce. And Shallow Hal. I always liked the bad boys. Stupid of me, but I did. Now I like 'em talk dark n handsome. Really, I just like a guy who respects women and who is deep down a decent person. Those are hard to find. Thanks number1.  |
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~Lori
