Fanfic: Blessed Fire (an A&J short story)

[linmiste]

Hello! I'm a new member here, but I've been lurking quite awhile, and enjoying the photos and the short track discussion and fanfic. I've written my own about Apolo and Julianne, and while I have no idea what their actual relationship is, I couldn't help but be caught up in the potential romance. So, this a short story about what might be ahead. I'll post it in four installments over the weekend. Please feel free to leave feedback! Thanks!

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Blessed Fire: An A&J Short Story

Part I: Oklahoma City, September 2008

Julianne nervously paced her cinder block dressing room at the Ford Center in Oklahoma City. In fifty minutes she would stand before thousands at her tour debut, opening for Tim McGraw. She checked her Blackberry again. No messages. Julianne sighed, near tears.

“Sweetheart.” Zach pulled her against his chest and tried to kiss away her furrowed brow. “You’re beautiful. You sing like an angel. You already have the admiration of every woman in America, and the heart of every man.”

Her eyes darted to the Blackberry again. She couldn’t see the screen.

“Are you expecting a message?” Zach asked.

“Sorry. Yeah. No. I was hoping Apolo would text me.” Zach’s eyebrows rose but she continued, not looking directly at him. “I know his skating season begins now, but I thought he’d have time to wish me good luck, that’s all.”

Zach sighed. This wasn’t the time to talk about their relationship, so he ignored it. He was getting good at that. “Jules,” he said, reaching for her hand, “you know I love you and I’ll be here no matter what. But you’ll be great tonight. Believe in yourself.”

A knock sounded at the door. “Miss Hough, you have a visitor.”

Julianne met Zach’s eyes. As long as he was here, she’d be safe, even if it was a crazed fan, which it wouldn’t be, because she didn’t have many fans yet anyway. “Coming,” she called.

Zach couldn’t see who was at the door when Julianne opened it, but he saw her face. It transformed from weary to exuberant, from drawn to luminous. Zach knew who it was before she cried out, “Apolo!”

Julianne flung her arms around his neck, gluing herself to him, and Apolo wrapped his arms around her tiny waist. He closed his eyes and breathed in her vanilla scent. Grinning broadly, he fairly carried her back into the room, kicking the door shut. They released the embrace but caught hands, gazing at one another with unconcealed joy. That’s when Apolo spotted Zach.

For a split second, Apolo looked like a kid who got caught stealing money from his dad’s wallet, but then he held out his hand and said, “Hey, man, good to see you.”

The expression passed so quickly that Zach couldn’t be sure what he’d seen. He returned the handshake. “It’s a good thing you’re here, Apolo. She’s been checking for messages all day.”

Julianne was standing between them like a little girl, hands clasped in front of her.

Zach’s eyes were dark and inscrutable.

Apolo rolled his eyes. “Yeah, my trainer threw a fit. I’m supposed to be traveling to Michigan with the team right now, but I insisted on buying my own plane ticket with a nice long layover in Oklahoma.” He winked at Julianne. Her cheeks grew rosy.

“That was nice of you,” Zach said without much sincerity. “By the way, how’d you get backstage?”

Apolo bit his lip. “One of the security guards recognized me from the show and brought me back. Sometimes it pays to be… well, not famous, but known.”

Seeing the tightness in Zach’s jaw line, Julianne jumped in. “Well, however it happened, I’m so glad you’re here.”

Apolo ran his eyes over her from head to toe. “You’re looking very country,” he observed.

Julianne smoothed her little creamy lace dress under the turquoise belt and shifted weight in her cowboy boots. “Not exactly your style, is it?” she grinned.

But you’re my style, Apolo thought. No, I can’t say that. How about: you’d look sexy in a gunny sack? No. “You look wonderful, though.” That sounded neutral enough, right? “Doesn’t she, Zach?” he added.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her all evening, but she wouldn’t believe me.”

Julainne giggled. “Okay, I believe you now. Hey, Apolo! Since you’re here, do you think you could help me with my closing song? Some choreography just popped into my head.”

Apolo raised an eyebrow skeptically. She loved when he did that. “What kind of choreography?”

“Well, my last song is ‘Will You Dance with Me’ and since we did dance together and everyone loves you, I’m thinking we could work our waltz into it.”

Zach raised his eyes to the ceiling. He was a trained dancer, but Julianne seemed to have severe memory loss when Apolo was around. “Isn’t it kind of late to change the program, Jules?”

That sparked the competitive fire in Apolo. “Our waltz was a year and a half ago, Julianne, but if we have time to go over the steps, I’m game.”

She clapped her hands. “Zach, do you mind if we practice quickly?”

He stepped forward and draped an arm over he shoulders. “By all means.” Zach bent down and kissed her fully on the lips. “See you after your performance. You’ll be great.” He gave her another squeeze, nodded at Apolo, and left.

They stood awkwardly a few seconds until Apolo said, “Julianne, I really need to review that dance.”

“Oh, right.” She glanced at the clock. “No time to get a tape of the song. Guess I’ll have to sing it to you. Or hum.”

He grinned.

Quickly they shoved back furniture and took their positions. As he pulled her into his side, he pushed away the frustrations that kept them apart and simply drew her face towards him.

She hummed the music, trying to focus on the steps rather than her fluttering stomach. His muscled body seemed to remember every move. His gaze was simultaneously tender and passionate, eager and restrained.

“You’re supposed to look to the left, not at me,” she instructed, just to keep herself rooted in reality.

“Is Len in the audience?” he asked.

She laughed and almost snorted. “No, I doubt it.”

“Then I’d rather look at you.”

The lyrics of a poem by Sara Teasdale which she had memorized in junior high flittered across her mind:

Strephon kissed me in the spring,
Robin in the fall,
But Colin only looked at me
And never kissed at all.

Strephon’s kiss was lost in jest,
Robin’s lost in play,
But the kiss in Colin’s eyes
Haunts me night and day.

As they finished, Julianne’s face glowed. “You’re amazing, Apolo. I don’t know how you remembered all that.”

“Sometimes it seems like just yesterday we were dancing on that checkerboard roof.” He took her hand again. “Come on. One more run through. I need to be smoother.”

“So here’s the plan,” Julianne said as they finished again.

Apolo cocked his head, eyebrows raised, lips pursed.

She laughed at him. “I’ll sing the song through, and after the third verse I’ll have the band play while we dance. Then we’ll back off stage and I’ll sing the title line to finish.”

“Okay. And what do I do while you’re singing?”

She met his deep hazel eyes beguilingly. “Stand there and look at me adoringly.”

“That won’t be difficult.”

A quick rap struck the door and it popped open. “Julianne,” a smartly dressed woman with bottle-blond hair warned, “ten minutes till show time.”

“Thanks, Nancy. We lost track of time.”

The woman raised her eyebrows at Apolo.

Julianne touched his arm. “Nancy this is Apolo Ohno, my… dance partner.”

“From the show Dancing with the Stars,” Apolo added. He held out his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. Look, I don’t mean to be rude, but you have to get to the stage now, Julianne.”

All three hurried down the hall.

“I’ll call you up before the song,” said Julianne, suddenly feeling near panic. “Where are you sitting?”

“I bumped into your sister earlier and she said there’s an extra seat up front with your family. My ticket is in the nose-bleed section.”

Julianne’s eyes narrowed slightly. “With my family is good.” Had she just given her still-single sister a chance with Apolo?

He interpreted her furrowed brow as nerves about the show. Apolo took her hand, unconsciously interlacing their fingers. “You’re beautiful, you know, inside and out. Sing like no one is watching.” He smiled, but his expression was far from flippant. The depth of devotion in his eyes set her heart racing. She didn’t realize that her own blue eyes exuded unequivocal trust and enchantment.

He tugged her hand and brought her closer, but people brushed by and Nancy was next to them yelling into a head-set, so he kissed her quickly on the cheek, winked, and turned back down the hall.

Julianne stared after him, dumbfounded.

[mellie]

Great start, and it's set in the future.;D Can't wait to read the rest.

Oh and to GA.

[linmiste]

Thank you, Mellie, for the welcome. And thanks so much for reading and posting! I really appreciate it. I'll be posting part two in the next few minutes and then part three this evening. Have a great day!
Lin

[linmiste]

Part II:
(Rating: PG-13)

Apolo found himself seated between Julianne’s sister and boyfriend. Could it be any worse? At least her dad was in the row ahead; Apolo wouldn’t feel those eyes boring into his back.

As Julianne’s name was announced, Apolo closed his eyes and breathed a prayer for her. She was lovely. Her set passed in a blur, as he anticipated his role on stage, but the audience seemed to be enjoying it. Julianne’s sister kept whispering comments in his ear and touching his arm. Apolo put forth his polite but remote smile and turned his attention back to Julianne. He avoided looking at Zach.

Before he knew it, Julianne was saying, “Thank you so much, Oklahoma! You’ve made me feel so welcome. I have one more song I’d like to sing for you, and a special guest who is going to help me out.”

Apolo inched out of the row and kept his head down as he moved towards the stage stairs.

“Some of you know him as a five-time Olympic medalist in speed skating.” A low rumble passed through the crowd. “Some of you know him as my partner on Dancing with the Stars, which we won.” The applause increased. “Please welcome Apolo Anton Ohno!”

The crowd erupted in cheers and whistles as he jogged onto the stage. They hugged and Julianne caught his hand in hers as he raised his other hand to acknowledge the crowd. They smiled at each other, lost in the moment, until Apolo gently slipped his hand on her lower back and nudged her forward as he stepped back. The band began a long musical introduction while Julianne regained her composure and the audience quieted.

Pure and clear she began. “I’m a dancer….” By the chorus she was including Apolo in her glances. “Please, please, will you dance with me?” He was amazed at how easily he stepped into the role of love interest on stage. The knowledge that her boyfriend watched them from the audience contributed to his apparent reluctance to dance with her.

Julianne glided towards him during the bridge. “Makes we wanna take your hand….”

They touched.

“Float across the floor…”

Apolo led her through two waltz turns.

“I’ve never felt like this before…”

She held his gaze, then turned slowly to the audience.

“I’m a lover….” That did it. Tonight Apolo would make it clear what he wanted and ask her to choose once and for all.

Julianne asked again: “Will you dance with me?” and stepped gracefully toward him, meeting his eyes.

Apolo caught her hand and spun her inward, wrapping his arm around her waist. She turned her head away. For a moment, he wondered how he’d know when to begin, but the music and her body guided him flawlessly. The passion, angst, and joy that cascaded over his features arose from the depth of his soul.

Julianne responded to him; there was no acting in the sweetness with which she returned his glance and touch. Apolo drew her in for their final embrace, their faces touching, lips just a breath apart. Reluctantly, she pulled away and each backed into the shadows. Julianne sang her last line a capella. Silence filled the stadium before applause erupted. They stepped forward and joined hands, taking bows and repeating a dip. Apolo tried to give all the praise to Julianne; it was her night. But she shared it with him.

After several minutes, they managed to find their way backstage and engulf one another in a crushing hug. “Oh, thank you, Apolo!” Julianne cried. “I could never have done it without you.”

He leaned back and looked at her seriously. “But you did do it without me. You gave 100%, and if you never sing again, you’d still be a champion.”

Julianne buried her face in his shoulder. “Apolo,” she breathed.

“Come with me,” he whispered into her hair. They returned to her dressing room and pulled two chairs close together.

She looked at him expectantly.

“Don’t look at me like that, Julianne.”

Mild confusion crossed her face. “What do you mean?”

“Like you’re in love.” Apolo stood up and paced the room. “I can’t do this anymore, Julianne. I can’t keep playing this game.”

Even as she asked, “What game?” she knew the answer.

He turned to her almost fiercely. “The we’re-just-friends game. Everyone knows we have something more. We text message, we flirt, we touch, but you have your boyfriend and I go home alone.”

It was her turn to show anger. “You’re not exactly alone,” she replied coldly. “I seem to recall a picture of you and a certain redhead Hollywood star in the tabloids.”

“You read that crap?”

She looked away. “Only when it’s about you.”

Apolo stopped pacing. “Julianne, the rumors were starting to fly again. My excuse about training for the Olympics is wearing thin. I have to make it look like I’m trying to date.”

“Oh.”

“She’s a friend.”

“Like we’re friends?”

“No.” His hazel eyes rested on her.

A delightful tingle ran down Julianne’s spine.

Apolo sat next to her again. “Julianne, I want you and you only in my life. I’ve been waiting for you -- waiting for you to follow your dreams without my public status contributing positively or negatively on your career. I want you to be your own woman.”

“I’m not my own woman?” she asked with a touch of coquetry.

He grinned. “You’re all woman. I figured that out during rumba rehearsals.”

She giggled. “I was kind of teasing you, wasn’t I?”

He nodded and took her hand. She grew serious, searching his face, holding back the barrage of thoughts and questions that flew through her mind.

“I’m waiting for something else, too.”

She held her breath.

“I’m waiting for you to break up with Zach on your own, without being sure that I’ll be here to catch you.”

She shook her head. “That’s not fair. If I break up with Zach, my family will be really disappointed. If I don’t even have you to count on….”

Apolo caressed her hand with his thumb. “What would happen, Julianne, if things didn’t work out with us?” Her eyes grew wide, but he continued. “I hope our relationship would last, but if we were to date and then break up, I don’t want you or your family to feel that I stole you away from the “right” guy. That I somehow seduced you from your family and faith and ruined you. I don’t want that kind of burden. You need to decide for yourself if Zach is the man you want to marry, regardless of whether there might be another man out there who—” he paused, touching behind his front teeth with his tongue, then continued “—cares for you.”

Julianne leaned into his shoulder and let the tears fall quietly.

“Oh, Baby, don’t,” he crooned. “I want the best for you. I want you to know that you’re strong in who you are and the gifts you’ve been given.”

“I know.” Julianne tried to wipe away the tears with the back of her hand. “You make me feel so alive… so accepted. It’s just complicated. There are an awful lot of people who would be hurt or disappointed. And…” she trailed off.

“And?”

She spoke almost in a whisper. “Zach is safe. He’s stuck with me through a lot of stuff, even all the media coverage of you and me. I know he loves me. I’m not sure… I don’t know….”

Apolo turned her face to him. “I can’t make you any promises about the future. All I know is how I feel right now.” He gazed into her cerulean eyes and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. His lips rested there, then lowered to her cheek. He lifted her chin, and his mouth sought hers. She wrapped a hand around his head and placed the other on his heart, responding eagerly to the pressure of his lips. He slowed the kisses, lingering on the sweetness of her lips, and gently pulled away.

She felt flushed, euphoric, and vaguely guilty. She couldn’t take her eyes off his face.

“The choice is yours, Julianne. Let me know what you decide.” He touched her cheek and walked out the door.

Julianne sat in her chair and cried.

[vegas]

That was incredibly tender and lovely. I love your characters... I can't wait to see what happens next.

[lisam]

I thought this was very well written, I enjoyed the story between Apolo and Julianne and how its set in the future. I'm interested to see what happens in the next chapter.

[linmiste]

Thank you, Vegas and Lisam, for taking time to read the story and reply with such nice words. It was fun to write. I'll continue it this evening.
Lin

[linmiste]

Part III: Salt Lake City, December 2008

Julianne set a Vivaldi CD in the player and began to move, letting the passion and drama of the music interpret itself through her body. It was New Year’s Eve day. She sought the solace of the dance studio, but the ghosts of partners past haunted her, especially a set of mesmerizing hazel eyes in a perfectly sculpted face.

She shook her head to clear the vision of him and played with the ring on her left hand. Zach had proposed on Christmas Day. Dancing alone she tried to remember why she had accepted. Bits and pieces of truth pushed their way forward and fell back like waves on the shore. Zach loved her. Apolo hadn’t contacted her since that night in Oklahoma. Her family clearly preferred Zach. She could still feel the intensity of Apolo’s touch. She was engaged.

The door opened and Julianne spun around, her stomach dropping like a rock. “Oh, it’s you.” She started breathing again.

“Yeah, who’d you expect, sis?” Derek strode into the room, his slender limbs both graceful and masculine. He set his bag on the floor and faced her. “You don’t look so good.”

Julianne took a swig of water. Suddenly, the tears that had been lurking began to surface. Derek reached an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to his side, letting her cry. After several minutes, Julianne wiped her eyes with her shirtsleeve and began to walk around the room.

“I should be the happiest woman in the world,” she acknowledged. “I just finished a tour with a legendary country music artist. My second album is nearly finished. I have a loving and supportive family. I’m still finding time to dance. I have some acting offers. I just got engaged to a good man….” Abruptly a smile began to creep across her delicate features.

“Care to share?” Derek’s eyebrows were as expressive as Apolo’s.

“I’m just remembering when Len told Apolo he didn’t want to see good from him, he wanted to see great. We were kind of ticked at the time, but now I think I understand.”

“Okay. Whatever. Listen, Jules, I think you should see this.”

Derek pulled his laptop out of his bag and set it on a table in the corner. He logged on to an entertainment website and started to play a video from yesterday’s “Hollywood Hook-ups” segment. Julianne wilted onto the table, stunned.

The “news anchor” was standing in front of a screen on which pictures of Julianne and Zach were scrolling. She was saying, “In tonight’s couples news, singer and dancer Julianne Hough was recently engaged to long-time boyfriend Zach Wilson. Hough performed this past fall as the opening act for Tim McGraw, and her second album is due out next spring. Julianne is perhaps more widely known as the season four champion of Dancing with the Stars, which she won with her partner Apolo Anton Ohno.” Short video clips of their dances – the cool rumba, blue cha cha, and hip hop freestyle – passed before her eyes. “Hough was engaged to Wilson at the start of the season, but broke it off, sparking rumors of a relationship with Olympian Ohno, which both denied.” The screen returned to pictures of her and Zach, clearly snagged from their myspace pages. “Wilson and Hough plan to marry in the next year. In other couples news....”

Derek stopped the video and looked at his sister.

She met his eyes, completely bewildered, “How could they have known?”

“I’d rather not speculate.”

She stared out the window vacantly. “Oh, Apolo,” she exhaled. “He shouldn’t have to find out like this.”

“What are you going to do? Drive over to his house and tell him in person?” Derek posed his question with a bit of a challenge, hoping Julianne would take him up on it. He liked Zach, but there was something about Apolo that made his sister sparkle. And he wanted her to have that always.

She shook her head. “Not yet. There’s something I need to take care of first.”

Derek crossed his arms and leaned back against the table. “What can I do to help?”



Netherlands, February 2009

Apolo punched down his pillow for the umpteenth time and tried to go back to sleep. Pictures of Julianne and Zach kept popping into his mind, and all of his competitive discipline and mental fortitude couldn’t keep them at bay. “Stupid TV,” he muttered. The only thing that blocked out the bittersweet memory of her lips on his was intense training.

Apolo pushed back the covers and planted his feet on the floor. If he was awake, he might as well get moving. Today began the last World Cup meet before the Championship next month in China. Pulling on sweats and a jacket, he grabbed his bag and headed to the deserted commissary. Apolo ate his breakfast while walking to the rink. He knocked several times before the security guard appeared from behind his desk.

“What you want?” he asked through the glass door in heavily accented English.

“I’d like to skate. Can I come in?”

“You have ID?”

Apolo held it up.

“Oh!” The man broke into a broad grin and unlocked the door. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Ohno. Sorry I didn’t recognize you right away.”

They shook hands. “You want to get on the ice early, no?”

“I’d love that,” Apolo nodded, sharing a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Right this way.” The man led him down several hallways, switching on lights as he went. Finally, he opened the door to the rink and turned on the overhead flood lights. “Best of luck to you,” he said.

Apolo looked him in the eye. “Thank you.” He threw his bag on the nearest bench and pulled on his skates.

He stepped onto the ice and immediately his cares faded away. He pushed rhythmically around the rink, closing his eyes to feel the riffle of a breeze through his hair. The repetitive circling, the soft schick of his blades on the cold hard surface, was almost like a prayer.

Far away he heard a door open and close.

Minutes later, another pair of skates cut into the ice. Apolo looked up to see Hyun-soo Ahn begin his paces. The two men nodded in recognition. Surreptitiously they watched each other, and gradually Apolo slowed his pace until they were skating side by side.

“You enjoy skating,” Apolo observed with a twinkle of camaraderie in his eyes.

“You also,” returned Ahn. “I see the peace on your face.”

Apolo nodded slightly, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah. Out here the world fades away. I feel… free.”

“In Korea, they work us so hard. Many don’t enjoy skating anymore. But for me — I don’t know how to say it – the ice is my home.” Ahn flashed a boyish grin.

Apolo laughed. “Exactly.”

They were skating casually, slightly bent, arms on their backs. Apolo leaned into the turn, low and controlled. Ahn took the outside, tall and powerful. Without a word, they switched positions as they exited the turn. Now Ahn was inside, deep and clean; Apolo matched his strides, strong and decisive.

“You have girlfriend?” Ahn asked suddenly.

Apolo, taken off guard, was unable to mask the pain that flashed across his features. He shook his head.

“You love someone,” Ahn nodded. “I, too. My girlfriend, she back in Korea. She on Olympic team, too, but she cannot come see me skate.”

“Why not?”

Ahn shrugged. “No money. No permission. After next Olympics, I like come to America, but I do not know if she can come, too. I do not want to leave her.”

Apolo frowned. “Can’t she leave Korea?”

“It’s hard to get visas to the U.S. Maybe I can come help coach the American team, but what will she do?”

“If you were married, she could come with you.”

“No, not even then. Sometimes they do not let the spouse come for many years.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.” Ahn’s situation touched Apolo. “Ahn, if you ever need help coming to the U.S., please call me. I will do everything I can to help you and your girlfriend.”

“Thank you, Apolo.” Ahn inclined his head in acknowledgement of the generous offer. “I can help you with anything?”

Apolo grunted. “I wish you could. The woman I want might as well be on the other side of the world. Our lives are very far apart.”

“It is maybe your partner from the dancing show?”

Apolo’s eyes widened and his eyebrows rose.

Ahn showed his straight white teeth and laughed. “I have computer, and YouTube come in very handy.”

Apolo pursed his lips, smiling.

“What is problem? No more chemistry?” asked Ahn, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Apolo sighed. “Lots of chemistry, but she chose someone else. She’s engaged now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” It was Ahn’s turn to empathize. “You good catch. She very silly.”

Apolo almost laughed. “I doubt her family thinks I’m a good catch. I’m different. Really different. But I’m having a hard time letting her go. A lot of my happiest memories include Julianne. I feel – my best self when I’m with her, you know?”

“Yes, my friend, I know.”

Apolo gave Ahn an appreciate glance, his lips twisting into a wry grin. “I guess we have more in common than speed skating.”

“Don’t think I will let you win now, just because I feel sorry for you,” Ahn grinned back.

Apolo threw back his head and laughed. “Is that a challenge?”

They picked up the pace until both men were dragging their fingers on the ice around the turns. Apolo settled behind Ahn, comfortable and at ease. Rounding a corner, Apolo set up an inside pass but Ahn blocked him. After another lap, Apolo burst forward and powered past Ahn on the outside. Ahn was impressed, but soon returned the pass, and the two men let their skates glide, resting their hands on their knees. Both were smiling, eyes alight.

Still catching his breath, Ahn straightened up and cocked his head toward the boards. The Korean team was arriving, and Apolo spotted his trainer and coaches setting up equipment.

“Don’t forget, Ahn. Anything you need, you contact me.”

He nodded. “Good luck.”

Apolo’s face grew serious, but his eyes still smiled. “And to you.”

They bowed slightly to each other and Ahn skated off. As Apolo slid to a stop before his teammates, he felt strangely at peace with the bright blue eyes dancing in his memory.

[lisam]

Once again lin you are a very good writer, I'm really enjoying this story. I loved the convo between Ahn and Apolo. I was wondering if it was true about Koreans having a hard time getting visas to the US, interesting bit of info there.

BTW, these chapters are coming up fast, either you're a fast writer or these have been written for a while.

[linmiste]

HI, lisam,
Thanks again for your encouraging comments. Yes, this is all written; I'm just posting in parts. I tend to write scenes and then replay them in my mind, changing things until they are satisfactory. So, it has to sit awhile in my head. But, this is the first time I've publically shared a story I've written, so I appreciate the positive feedback.

I don't know if it's particularly hard for Koreans to get into the US. But I know immigration laws are more stringent these days and I know of situations where both spouses were not able to come at the same time. I thought it would be an interesting aspect to a potential storyline for Ahn.

Okay, I'm off to post the last part.

[linmiste]

This is the fourth and final part of my story. Thanks for reading... and any feedback is appreciated.

Rating: PG-13

Part IV: Salt Lake City, March 2009

Apolo spread his clothes out on his bed and began making choices as he packed for the World Championships. He’d be three weeks in Asia, Ahn’s home turf. A smile touched his eyes as he remembered their conversation last month. It was an unusual start to a friendship, but Apolo welcomed it. He sighed. He was a bit tired of all the traveling, but he had one more year till the next Olympics, and those were in Vancouver, virtually his own backyard. He was almost home.

Apolo dropped his hands and stood still. Home. What would that be? He imagined he’d sell his house here, move back to Seattle, be near Dad and reasonably close to opportunities in LA. Still, an emptiness nagged at him.

“Face it, Apolo, you wanted to find out what role Julianne would have in your future, and now she has none.” He continued packing, admonishing himself. “She chose her path. It no longer intersects yours. Move on. Embrace the struggle; it’s all about the journey.” Somehow that philosophy seemed a little easier to apply to physical accomplishments than affairs of the heart.

The doorbell sounded. Apolo glanced at the clock and frowned. 5:30. He wasn’t expecting anyone.

He jogged downstairs and pulled the door open. The greeting died on his lips.

“Hi, Apolo,” she said quietly.

He stared. Julianne looked beautiful in the twilight, the last rays of sun touching golden highlights in her hair and warming her rosy skin. She seemed older and more lovely than six months should account for.

“Hi,” he managed, then turned away, trying to regain his composure.

Julianne followed him inside, shutting the door. “I’m sorry to intrude…” she began.

“Where’s your appendage?” Apolo interrupted, back still turned.

“My what? Oh. I don’t know.”

He rotated slowly and studied her face, a hard set in his eye, the kind of mask he wore before races.

She flushed. “I broke off our engagement.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Again?”

Julianne forced herself to look him in the eye. “Yes, and both times it was because of you.”

“That’s a credit I’d rather not have.” He kept her gaze a few seconds.

She realized she had half-hoped he’d take her in his arms as if nothing had happened. But that was a little girl’s fantasy; she was a woman now standing before a man whom she’d hurt deeply.

“I have to pack,” he said abruptly and ran up the stairs two at a time.

Julianne took off her coat, laid it over the banister, and bounced up after him. She walked lightly to the doorway of his bedroom and paused.

Apolo stood at the far window, hands at head level on either side of the casement, gazing at the snow-crusted mountains without seeing them. Barefoot, he wore a fitted brown T-shirt and ripped jeans. His masculine beauty momentarily silenced her.

“Why are you here?” Apolo asked, his voice carefully devoid of emotion.

“To see you.”

“Well, you’ve seen me.”

“No, I mean….” Julianne walked around his bed and stopped near him. “I wanted to explain it all to you, maybe go back….” She trailed off as he looked askance at her then back outside.

“Apolo –” Her fingertips touched his arm and he withdrew as if he’d been burnt. He put the bed between them and began throwing clothes into his suitcase.

Julianne tried again. “Is it okay if I try to explain myself to you?”

He leaned forward, head down, pushing his fists into the bed. His hair hid his face, but she pressed on.

“I know whatever we had is probably gone, but I’d appreciate it if you could listen a few minutes.”

He didn’t move.

“I’ve been a complete idiot, Apolo.”

He looked up, hair falling across his eyes. “Really?”

It was silly, but his sarcastic reply gave her hope, and Julianne’s lips formed a crooked smile. “Yeah, really.” Her blue eyes sparkled.

Apolo stood up, running his fingers through his hair.

Julianne’s heart skipped a beat and her knees nearly buckled. She touched a dresser lightly to steady herself.

“Can we go for a walk?” he asked. “You… here… in my bedroom…. It’s kind of disconcerting.”

“Yeah?” Her eyes crinkled and she bit her tongue lightly between her teeth.

Apolo turned quickly towards the door to hide his smile. It was stinkin’ sexy when she did that. He took a deep breath.

Julianne, feeling she’d again pushed too hard, blurted out, “If you’d rather I leave, I understand.”

“No,” said the solid back. “I want to hear what you have to say for yourself.”

Apolo grabbed his brown leather jacket form the hall closet and slipped his arms in. Julianne was unfolding her jacket, trying to orient the sleeves correctly. Instinctively, Apolo stepped over to help.

“Thank you.” Julianne’s eyes shone the clearest blue, open, honest, vulnerable. He almost drew her into his arms right there, but contented himself with allowing a softness to steal out of his own hazel eyes.

“Come on,” he said gently, leading the way through the kitchen to the back door. He shoved his sock-less feet into some boots and ushered her out, briefly touching the small of her back.

“This is beautiful,” said Julianne, scanning the hills and trees.

“Yeah. I come out here a lot to think and run and watch the stars.”

They began to walk around his property on a path beaten into yesterday’s snow.

She was watching his face.

“What?” he asked.

“I don’t know. You’re just… amazing.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You didn’t figure that out two years ago?”

She smiled, too, but remained serious. “No, I knew. But I was afraid our attraction was just temporary, being thrown together so many hours a day for weeks on end. Performing romantic dances and appearing together in public. My thoughts got so jumbled up. How could we know what was real?”

He nodded. “Exactly.”

“So I didn’t want to send my boyfriend packing, even though I didn’t feel in love with him anymore, because I was afraid that whatever was between us might pop and fade like soap bubbles in the wind.”

“And they haven’t?”

She shook her head. “I’ve missed you more these past months than I ever dreamed would be possible.”

Apolo closed his eyes. He had longed to hear such words. But a momentous question remained. He hardly dared to look at Julianne. “I do have one question,” he began huskily. “I have to know why you got engaged again.”

Julianne sighed and fidgeted with her hands. “I don’t know, really. Have you ever done something where you looked back and thought, ‘Now, why did I do that?’ It doesn’t make sense to me now. But at the time…. Do you realize, Apolo, that the night in Oklahoma City was the first time you actually told me your true feelings? I mean, I knew our brother-sister façade was long over, but in all our times together in the year after Dancing, you never told me that you cared for me in a romantic way. Sure, we flirted, and sometimes I thought I saw something in your eyes, but you never said anything directly. How could I break it off completely with Zach when I didn’t know if you had any serious interest?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she rushed on. “Last time I saw you, you said you were waiting for me to break it off with Zach before you spoke, but I was waiting for you to say something before I made any major decisions.” Julianne looked out to the horizon. “I guess after I finished crying that night I started to get mad. After all the drama, it felt like you had put the weight of our future on me. And to make it worse, you completely cut off contact with me. I felt… abandoned.”

Apolo stopped walking and turned to face her. “I’m so sorry.” The amber specks in his eyes reflected the rising moon. “I guess I didn’t think about it from your perspective. I never meant to hurt you like that.”

“I know. But last fall, it was Zach who stood by my side, who smoothed the way. When he proposed again on Christmas, I felt gratitude, affection, security.” She shrugged. “I don’t know who leaked our engagement to the press, but when Derek showed me the entertainment news a week later, I felt like the earth had dropped out from beneath me. My first thought was of how you’d feel, and it hit me then that you were still in my heart, regardless of our distance. I ended everything with Zach that night. Nice New Year’s Eve, huh?”

Apolo didn’t know what to say.

“I took my time coming to see you. I wanted to be sure I was thinking straight. I surfed the net for news of you, followed your skating as best I could. I finally decided that even if you don’t care for me like you once did, I need to ask… can you forgive me?”

For answer, Apolo took her little hand in his and slipped them both into his jacket pocket.

They continued walking, talking of all they had felt and thought over the past two years, and especially the past six months. They said all the things that lovers say. And somewhere along the mountain ridge, under the emerging stars, he pulled her into his arms and touched his lips to hers with a fire born of discipline and suffering and purity.



Epilogue: Seattle, a few years later

Apolo turned his head to gaze at the beautiful woman sleeping beside him.

“Good morning, Apolo,” Julianne grinned, opening her eyes to meet his. “I’ll never get tired of saying that.”

“Morning, sweetheart.” He leaned over to kiss her softly, then propped his head on his hand. “I’ve been having the most wonderful dream.”

“Mmmm. What was it?”

“Well, I met this stunning blonde who set my heart to dancing. Then I won three more Olympic medals in Vancouver and asked the girl to marry me.”

“Did she consent?” Julianne asked, reaching over to play with the silver pendant necklace she had given him for their last anniversary.

“Most happily,” he winked, feeling the electricity of her touch. “And then she became a famous singer and went on tour and I followed her around like a love-sick puppy.”

“And I hope in your dream you became a successful businessman and helped various charitable organizations?”

“Absolutely. And I got to host a TV show about Olympic athletes with my talented and funny wife.” He touched her face, then slid his hand over the curves of her body to her slightly rounded belly. “And then, to top it off, my adorable bride got pregnant. It was an amazing dream.”

Julianne rested her eyes on his gorgeous face and laid her hand over his. “I guess dreams can come true.”

He laced their fingers together. “We’ve been blessed. And that’s just straight up.”

[vegas]

Linmiste, I of course love the story and the epiolgue! Beautifully written. Thanks for a feel good read!

[linmiste]

You're welcome, Vegas. Thanks for reading and leaving feedback.

[Lindsey]

Linmiste--what a beautiful story. I really like the way you write and the imagery/word pictures you use. I felt like I was there. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope this isn't your last fic!

[Guest]

This was wonderful! I didn't want it to end. You captured them beautifully. Loved that it was set in the future.