kinda sad

[apolosangel8907]

I don't know why, but I just kinda feel sad. I feel like nothing I do is enough for anyone anymore. I don't want to fall into the trap of trying to please everyone all the time. Lately, it has been like I am a shadow, there, but no one notices me.
Sorry but I just needed to get that off of my chest.
~!~Jacy~!~

[nermiina a.k.a nerka]

i know exactly how you feel..same thing happens to me at the times..and i dont know what to do anymore..just like you said i try to please everyone,but its still not enough..i just want to quit and not talk to anyone anymore...its just so hard ((..just be strong and hang in there..everything is ganna be ok..

[Bella]

Hey there sad girls,

It's spring time. The buds are growin' on the trees. The bees are buzzin'. Flowers are startin' to bloom. Babies everywhere are being conceived and born. Easter is comin' (and that means chocolate...)

Both of you: turn off your computers and take a walk around the block. Notice things, even mundane things. The knob of your door, a crack in the sidewalk, the sound of a bird signing. Notice every little thing. Feel the weight of your body on your feet, your feet inside your shoes, the breath in your lungs, the sensation of the wind blowing through your hair. Life is full of so many interesting and marvelous sensations! Focus outward and you will begin to feel a whole lot better, I guarantee it.

[apolosangel8907]

I would, but I am afraid that I would get lost in the dense fog outside!

[Bella]

Then walk around your house or your room. Notice things. Focus outward.

Also try this: Recall a time when you were really, really happy. What did you see? What did you hear? What did you smell or touch?

[nermiina a.k.a nerka]

thxx bellamusici

[Ruffian of Old]

This is my cat:

and she wants you to feel better.

[rose]

I hope, hope, hope I don't sound condesending or "motherly" when I say this (nothing wrong with being motherly to my own children but here I hope to be a friend, not a "mother") but I think these feelings you are both having Jacy and Nerka are very normal for teenage girls. I felt that way much of the time from the time I was about 12 until I was about 20. But "this too shall pass." Eventually you will figure it all out and be just fine.

It is hard to find the balance between pleasing yourself all the time (which is selfish) and pleasing others all the time (which makes you lose your own personality). I still find that hard but it was even harder when I was in my teens.

[apolosangel8907]

ruffian, that is so cute! Thanks!
bellamusici I will try that tonight!

[nermiina a.k.a nerka]

thats cute ruffian <33 it

yeah i guess you are right rose,i hope this thing works out,i dont wanna be like this anymore:( its tearing me inside

[apolosangel8907]

Rose, no you didn't sound motherly. Thanks!

I fell like I am falling back into my pit of depression. I battled with depression two years ago, problems with my father. He abused me for 13 years and that caused alot of selfesteem problems. I don't want to go back to that Jacy, I love the Jacy that I am now, but I just feel so sad. Almost like I am a ghost in my own life.

[Ruffian of Old]

She looks cute and all, but she's seriously, like, the devil. Lol, I'm gonna go hug her.

I really do hope you guys feel better. I don't really know what I can offer advise-wise, other than...listen to Rose! She's the best!

[Bella]

Yeah, listen to Rose, listen to all of us... especially sadie.

[Bella]

Sorry to hear what you went through, Jacy. The fact that you are still around and that you want to feel better tells me you are a survivor and a very special young woman.

[Bella]

Nerka,
Talented visual artist, moderator supreme, don't be too hard on yourself. We all luv ya!